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July 2013

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M*A*S*H ficlet: Mail Call

And as a counterpoint to my OUAT ficlet, for the same five word challenge...

Title: Mail Call
Author(s): impulsereader
Rating: G
Fandom: M*A*S*H
Character(s): Hawkeye, BJ
Summary: Baked goods and a letter from home.
Warnings: None.  Fluffy as the day is long.  (Except, perhaps, if you're a bundt cake.  If you are, beware mystery liquids.)
A/N: I seem to have been influenced by litlover12's post today celebrating the anniversary of M*A*S*H.  I am not sorry.  :-)
Word Count: 300


“I think we can resuscitate the fudge, but the bundt cake’s parents are about to get an unwelcome message by telegram.”

“Ah, come on, it can’t be that bad. We’ll smush it back together.”

BJ stared into the box dubiously. “I don’t think so, it got all wet with something...I don’t know what, but it doesn’t smell right.” He wrinkled his nose and chucked the box and its offending contents into the trash. “It’s all right, I’ll tell Peg it was great and she’ll send another one. Maybe we’ll get lucky next time.”

Hawkeye looked up from his letter to dramatically gasp in mock horror. “You would lie to Peg, Beej? Just to get us some cake?”

BJ kicked back on his cot, settling the box of fudge on his chest. “Ah, ah, ah, it’s not a lie if I’m sure it actually was great at some point. Flattery is the key to a good marriage.”

“Oh yeah? I thought that was ignorance.”

“Well, in this case it’s both.”

“Listen to this, Dad says the re-enactors of Crabapple Cove are on strike. Apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back was the Mayor’s refusal to shell out for new gold braid this year.”

“Ouch, gold braid past its prime; there’s nothing worse.”

“They blame the original seamstresses.”

“Those dastardly seamstresses are always the ones at fault,” BJ agreed heartily around a mouthful of fudge.

“No quality control. Ha! He says they’re picketing City Hall! They have signs that say, ‘Real gold braid does not fade.’. Why didn’t he send pictures?” Hawkeye lamented.

“Cheer up, maybe they’ll still be striking when you get home.”

“Oh, it gets better," he crowed, "They stormed the place and took out a chandelier!”

“You know, Hawk, sometimes I wonder about that town of yours.”


I can totally see this conversation, especially the letter from Hawkeye's dad. The letters from Crabapple Cove were the best. :)
Thank you kindly. I want to watch some now...I think M*A*S*H will be my soundtrack this evening.
I loved M*A*S*H! I should go see if Netflix has it.

This conversation felt very true to the show.
I love it too. Thanks, I'm not sure I got them completely right, but I'd challenged myself to write it in 45 minutes so that's my excuse!
Mwahahaha! That is so them! Just lovely.

I always wondered if Hawkeye's Crabapple Cove stories were real or he just made them up because he was homesick. (And because he can't function unless he's the center of attention.) I guess we'll never know.

Wow, I never thought about it until just now, but it may have been Hawkeye who started my desire to live in a small town/country-ish type place! (I'm Big City born & bred.) Wow!

I only learned a few years ago that Crabapple Cove was not a real town. I nearly cried. Did I mention I'm a grown woman?


Aw, man. You're making me miss my show so very much. And I don't have the DVDs! It's so nice to see another fan.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I'm also happy to have brought back fond memories. :-)

This is such a great show, so gosh darn laugh out loud funny. I love it. There should definitely be more fic!